Me, myself and I

Over the years, I’ve gotten really good at getting myself off. I went through a period when I first moved to Austin, where I decided to be celibate, but I kept on with the masturbating. I got into some pretty powerful sexual spaces all by my lonesome, and am an expert on how my body works.

I know that many women have g-spots, but I must say that mine’s pretty spectacular. You can feel it from the outside of my body. It’s a ridge that runs downward, over my pubic mound, toward my clit. By stimulating it from the inside and the outside, I can give myself amazing, strong orgasms. I would even venture to brag that I’m the best lover I’ve ever had, though I’d much rather be getting off with someone else.

It’s a beautiful spring day, overcast and a bit rainy, mid 70s. Everything is alive and growing, trees and plants in bloom, somewhat like my libido. SXSW has finally ended, and I have my houses back to myself again. I was supposed to have a rendezvous with a lover, but he isn’t feeling well. Just because he’s unavailable doesn’t make me any less horny.

I walk back into the bedroom, and smile to myself. The dull, late-afternoon light falls on the bed. I’m very aware of my body, and the erotic current that is humming through it. I begin to take off my clothes.

I lie down, and grab my pyrex glass dildo from the nightstand. It’s a beauty, smooth and curved, with an egg-shaped head that hits my g-spot perfectly. It was my housewarming present to myself when I bought the house. It was an expensive sex toy, but breaking it down, the cost per orgasm is really quite reasonable.

I lube it up, spread my legs, and begin teasing myself with it. Slowly, I put it inside. I’m so hungry for penetration; I can’t get enough of it.  There’s a noticeable thud when the head hits my g-spot. I grasp the shaft, and begin moving it in and out, angled slightly upward, rubbing the head on my g-spot. salesforce service cloud . With the other hand, I begin rubbing over my g-spot from the outside of my body, making a circular motion. I can feel the tension start to build as my pelvic muscles start to tighten.

There is one particular spot where the orgasm looms, and it seems to move around, withdrawing deeper into my body, closer to my cervix, moving from side to side. I stroke myself both inside and out, faster and harder, trying to tickle that spot enough so that I can finally come.

X marks the spot - follow the map.

X marks the spot – follow the map.

My wrists begin to hurt; between typing and masturbation, my arms are pretty fried. I begin moaning as my pelvic area becomes tenser and tenser. i still can’t reach just the right spot. My arms hurt, but ain’t no way I can stop myself from chasing down that orgasm. My pace increases, I continue to go faster and harder until finally, I reach the top. Instead of being able to let the orgasm go and go, the spasm is so intense that my body stops, clenches but won’t keep going. No multiple orgasm for me today, but if I’m only going to have one, it’s a pretty good one….

I stop, breathing hard. I’m blissed out, lying back on the bed, exhausted and smiling. If I was still a smoker, I’d definitely have a cigarette after that.

The world is beautiful, but it’s also a bleak, harsh place. We’d all be much happier if we pursued pleasure on a daily basis, made it a priority. Spreading self-induced dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins through the brains of the populus will make us nicer, happier, more tolerant and willing to talk to each other. It’s sad that the old, white guys who run this country are so scared of the female capacity for orgasm. I honestly believe it has the capacity to change the world….